Come on Baby, Finish What You Started

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accomplishments, challenge, dialogue, finish what you start, Gravity's Rainbow, groove, Inherent Vice, literature, plot, postmodernism, punctuation, reading, reality, swamp, The End, thomas pynchon, tome, writing critique, writing critique groups

I’m not a quitter. Really, I’m not. I don’t think I ever have been either, and I never intend to start. Forget marijuana or heroin, the thrill of completion is my idea of a high.

I don’t recall if it was my parents who instilled this idea of finishing things in my early childhood years (finish everything on your plate!) or if it was one of the many athletic coaches I had along the way (run the mile under 6:30 and practice is over). As I grew into adulthood, I continued to finish what I started. College. Graduate School. Projects at work. Writing the first draft of my book, then writing the second, third and fourth drafts.

Accomplishment is a nice feeling. However, there is one elusive object I cannot seem to finish that dangles out ahead of me, taunting me with its incompleteness. It’s not something I desire, but it has become something of an excruciating remonstrance of a challenge, indeed.

It is Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow.

This tome was recommended to me approximately 20 years ago after recounting the enjoyment of reading another of Pynchon’s work, The Crying of Lot 49, in a Postmodernism Graduate seminar.

I dug into Gravity’s Rainbow with the usual enthusiasm I have for recommended literature. I know many people have read this and survived. However, fifty pages in, I put down the 700+ page monster in a stupor. I had no recollection or grasp of the context I just read. Words swirled and landed in complete disarray in my brain. I had wandered into a swamp of sentences, punctuation and dialogue. Awhile later, I tried again to tackle the beast, restarting at page one only to experience the same frustrating phenomenon all over again. Since then, I’ve made several more attempts, each time making it a little further into the book, but never making it to “the end.”

Now I’ve taken on another one of Pynchon’s work, Inherent Vice, after seeing movie trailers for the film’s recent big screen adaptation. While this novel is not nearly as formidable and foreboding as Gravity’s Rainbow, it has its own whirlpooling issues. Most significant for me is the rhythm of the multitude of characters, places, drugs and clothing descriptions introduced. (I can envision two people in my writing critique group, who, if another writer would submit this same work for critique, would giddily exclaim, ‘I HATED THIS!’) Once I let go of literary conventions and fell into the groove of the novel, I began to appreciate the strength of the plot and the antagonist’s journey. It’s taking me longer than usual to read the book, but I’m starting to dig it.

I refuse to give up on Gravity’s Rainbow, and it may take me another 20 years before I’m able to move it to the “Finished Reading” section of my library, but I’ll get there.

So what’s been your white whale, the one project you’ve started but can never quite seem to finish?

Yes Virginia, Libraries Do Still Exist

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Agatha Christie, community, connect, Danielle Steele, freedom, funding, geek, imagine, internet, john saul, Judy Blume, libraries, library, library card, mark twain, reading, stephen king, V.C. Andrews

The library. It was my refuge as a child, and the one place where I could access the world. In elementary and middle school, not only did I discover Judy Blume, Mark Twain, Agatha Christie and V.C. Andrews, but also Stephen King, Danielle Steele, and John Saul. The library has everything!

The first libraries, dating back to Sumer in 2600 BC, consisted of archives of the earliest form of writing. Since then, libraries have gone through many reincarnations and struggles. A recent article in The Economist tells us, “… libraries in general are struggling. Americans tell pollsters they love them, but fewer use them.”

Today, the lower cost of internet use and the abundance of internet cafes and bars is one competition for libraries. Most never cross the library threshold again once those research papers are handed in. The William Penn foundation describes libraries as “gateways to opportunity,” but it’s difficult for people to see what’s there if they do not visit.

Libraries offer plenty. First, they’re free – all the printed and on-line books you could want. That’s a huge perk in a world where almost nothing is free anymore. Plus, the library is much more than just books. The library has resources and enrichment programs to serve the community – year-round and for all ages. Finally, libraries provide a place to stay connected with the community. In a world where interpersonal communication seems to be on a rapid decline, the library still promotes community events and personal interactions.

I just picked up my new library card and checked out a few books. If you need help finding your closest public library, try this link: https://harvester.census.gov/imls/search/

Celebrate the freedom to read.

My (Not So Dirty, Little Or Secret) Dirty, Little Secret

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geek, geek the library, hardy boys, jackie collins, john saul, mark twain, multitasking, musings, nancy drew, reading, s.e. hinton, secret, stephen king, writing

I am an addict. A reading addict. I am not ashamed to admit it. As I’ve mentioned before, it started at an early age and it’s never diminished. Reading for me is what I envision – and I am not saying this lightly – what an addiction entails. At that moment when I open the cover and press it back just a little so the spine crackles, I feel a change overcome me. Sometimes I can’t put a book down until I’ve read it cover to cover, which pretty much means putting my entire life on hold for the written word. I’ve even sneaked off to the bathroom so I’d have privacy to finish what I started. I remember the first hit – that first book and how good it felt to finish it, love it and reread it. Never have two books been the same. Some are good, some I couldn’t muddle through far enough to finish, and others I’ve cherished and reread several times. My high school English teacher, Mrs. Cupertino, knew I loved “A Canticle for Liebowitz” by Walter M. Miller, Jr., so when I ran into her a few years after graduating she gave me a copy. I still read it every couple of years.

I’ve always been a voracious reader, devouring everything in front of me. When I was younger, it was the backs of cereals boxes. It’s funny how many times I could read the Honeycombs or Cheerios box over and over just to have something to read at the kitchen table. Sometimes I hide how much I read, but most often I don’t. I still read as if my life depends on it. Books are everywhere – bed stand, end table, office and car. Reading three books at a time is like my own bookish version of multitasking. I’m also one of those “movie-book nerds” – you know the type; the person who says, yeah, the movie was good but the book was SOOOOO much better. I don’t know why they changed the ending. I am that girl.

In grade school, I was just nerdy enough to set a goal to check out and read  every book in our two Learning Centers (Catholic grade school terminology for ‘Libraries’), and I think I nearly managed it. The Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mystery series didn’t stand a chance. I was also a great patron of the local public library branch and I could spend hours at a time there, browsing the shelves and just looking at the books and their titles. That’s where I discovered Stephen King and John Saul. I loved the summer reading challenges and actually thrived on acquiring completion stickers. I’d check out as many books as allowed, with the stern reminder from the librarian I had three weeks to return them all. No problem. Of course, when I couldn’t make the trek in the winter, I began secretly co-reading anything my Mom was reading, being careful to replace her bookmark at the correct page. Jackie Collins provides a crazy education when you’re 12 and I’m still scarred by some of the scenes she wrote. My reading history certainly has been diverse.

Recently, my youngest nephew has become quite the reader. This was instigated by a grounding and subsequent punishment to abstain from video games and cable television; but no matter the reason, he now takes great pleasure providing lengthy and detailed synopses of the books he’s plowing through. While it’s inevitable my eyes glaze and my mind wanders when he’s minutely describing the rogue cat colony in the latest middle grade series, I won’t discourage him because he really seems to like the success – he’s thrilled when he finishes a book, then a trilogy and then a series. I hope this habit stays with him long after the punishment is lifted. I may introduce him to Twain or S.E. Hinton and see where those authors take him. My real hope is that he’ll want to hang out with me at the library, and that maybe one day when we’re watching a movie screenplay adapted from a book, he’ll turn to me and say he thinks the book had a better ending. 

Can You Read: Here She is, Miss America?

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community, creative writing, literacy, literacy programs, miss america, pageants, reading, service, writings

It is Miss America time once again. Just twelve months ago, my home state of Wisconsin saw its second titleholder crowned Miss America. The first was in 1973, which my mother remembers quite vividly, and this time it is a special memory for me as the winner is a young woman with whom I spent time during her preparations as Miss Wisconsin. I’ve only seen her twice since winning that coveted title as she is on a whirlwind tour across the U.S., but it’s been grand to watch her in the news and follow her social media postings. She’s a busy young woman with a great purpose, and it will be exciting to watch her head into the future. As our new Miss Wisconsin vies for this year’s title, I wish her all the best as I have also witnessed her growth and development through her journey to the big stage.

Miss America celebrates its 92^nd year this year, but I’ve only been involved for 22. The big questions I’ve heard throughout my association are: Is Miss America still relevant? And what exactly is the “the ideal?” And in the end, who really cares? I’m convinced only a minority know what the program and the young woman involved are about. Most people confuse it with Miss USA. I find it amusing that women from both programs very much dislike being mistaken for the other. I’ve never been involved with the USA program, so I won’t speak to its relevance, but I can theorize as to what goes on with the Miss America system.

This program is relevant because of the role it plays in communities. There are thousands of young women across the U.S. involved in the Miss America Organization – from local to state titleholders – who really want to make a difference. Service is a cornerstone of the program; each young woman chooses a cause before she even steps on stage and if she wins, she promotes it during her ‘reign.’ Some, like our current Miss America (who competed at the local level twice) change her cause to something personal so they can be more passionate about promoting their service platform program.

Is the service work completely philanthropic and selfless? No, of course not. Some contestants never revisit their cause once they give up the title, but most give 110% while in it. For a titleholder with a crown and a sash, it certainly is wonderful to put on a pretty gown, look glamorous and be acknowledged at a dinner or a parade. Ultimately, though, the focus is to promote the service platform to serve the community, and most titleholders in the America system are remembered for that.

The cause I chose was and still is dear to my heart: promoting adolescent literacy. It was a freeing and liberating feeling for me when, at six years of age, I read Charlotte’s Web cover to cover in an hour. The exhilaration reading provided wasn’t for entertainment only, but also to compete and succeed in what was and is an ever-changing, technological world. I wanted to share that feeling with others, so during my pageant years I worked with my local library system to make a difference – even when it was only one child at a time.

It’s good to stay true to those roots. Has it yet become completely selfless working on literacy programs to help people make positive changes? Of course not! While I don’t wear a rhinestone crown or a sequined gown, the joy and pride I feel when someone with whom I’m working is able to read and write and prepare themselves for this world armed with basic tools to help them succeed is something to cherish. It’s about making a difference and serving a community – or even one person – who is in need, and doing it happily. And that’s what I think Miss America is all about.

Who is Beautiful?

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beautiful, musings, people, reading, writing

The woman who assisted a child and lifted her to reach the water in the bubbler.

The 13-year-old boy who held on to his aunt’s hand as they walked through a crowded park, as if he were protecting her.

The young man who jumped out of his car to rush to the aid of an elderly woman who had slipped and fallen while climbing over a snow bank at a crosswalk.

The girl with the dark, close-cropped hair who, despite undergoing a radiation treatment the day before, put on a Darth Vadar helmet and used a blue light saber to play-battle her friend who came to visit.

The person who, when engaged in conversation, will give you her full attention and provide you with a feeling of calm and understanding.

The woman who is so very attractive on the outside – olive skin, thick black hair, model white teeth and smile – but pales in comparison to the beauty she exudes through her personality, kind words and actions.

The mother who consoles her daughter during a second place finish by reminding her she is unique and special and destined for a different purpose.

The father who, despite all the challenges of a divorce, a vindictive ex-wife, a full-time career and the rigors of life, excels with and extols a great love for his children.

The elderly widower who sits by himself in church but is always quick to extend a smile and hand for a sign of peace.

The customer service representative who smiles and thanks you for your business immediately after serving an irrational customer.

The young girl or boy who has just finished reading a book for the first time.

We are all beautiful in our own way.