The Art of Demotivation

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communicating, demotivation, executives, f-bombs, feedback, goals, inspiration, inspiring, leader, leadership, motivate, motivation, office, quality, support, swearing, system, yelling

It’s really quite easy to demotivate a department, a team or a person.

We all know not every boss is inspiring. Some people are just not born to lead; for others it takes time, training and patience to get there but they can do it.  Motivation in a leader is an intangible quality – one you can’t physically see in the person, but it’s obvious in that person’s team and how they operate. Is there joy in the workplace or is there toxicity in the air?

When you work for a great, motivating and inspiring leader, the workplace can be a wonderful place to be. If there is no inspiration at the helm, the days can be long and dark, only punctuated by those ever-flicking overhead fluorescent lights (i.e. Joe Banks with Mr. Waturi in Joe Vs. The Volcano).

Recently, I overheard an executive in a discussion with one of his direct reports. The conversation elevated to the point the executive was yelling loud enough the entire office could hear. Then, the executive didn’t think yelling was getting his point across, so he began dropping F-bombs as adjectives. It was uncomfortable for everyone and completely unnecessary: the yelling was a good enough indicator of his irritation. Afterwards, when I spoke to the employee on the receiving end of the tirade, he shrugged it off and said, “Oh well, that’s his managing style and it doesn’t mean anything.”

But it does. It means a lot. Yelling, swearing and calling out a team member in front of others is demotivating and demeaning, and a sure way NOT to get the best work from a person or team. It also acts like a virus – one that can bring down a team.

In another example, one former supervisor was just not good at managing his people or invoking trust. He was unpredictable, blatantly showed favoritism, and also had a penchant for dating the women on his staff (a whole separate issue I won’t get into here.) One day while dealing with a particularly difficult client, he put me into the line of fire and stepped away. Afterwards, when I went to discuss this situation with him, he told me, “I would never throw you under the bus.” It was truly a matter of semantics, so my response to him was, “No, not under but you’d throw me OFF the bus, make me out to be wrong in front of the client. Then you’d whisper, “I’ll come back to pick you up later.” His response? He laughed, shrugged, and said, “Yeah, that’s probably what I’d do.”

Two good things came out of that situation: 1) I learned how to motivate myself; and 2) I promised myself I would never do to my teams what he did to me.

When you have a leader who is incapable of motivating, you really have to take things into your own hands. Change your mindset and create your own motivators, set your own goals, ask for feedback from colleagues, and build a support system – both in the company and outside. You can’t always rely on someone to be a solid, inspirational leader. Maybe that means it’s up to you.

To Meme or Not To Meme

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bumper stickers, daily prompts, inspiration, life, meme, memes, musings, quotes, social media, state of mind

The world is a meme-filled place.

Years ago when working on speeches or articles, I would reference the site www.quoteland.com for inspiration . Now, all I have to do is open my social media accounts. There I find endless posts on being better, getting better, ignoring the haters, spreading the love, learning I have no limits, focusing on myself, focusing on others, and on and on.

Memes have become the bumper stickers of the 2010s.

Daily quotes, inspiration, one-liners and 140-characters all direct me to change my state of mind, my habits, my global footprint, my interactions with other, my way of living, my everything. Some days it’s too much and my cup runneth over.

What’s Your Inspiration? Sometimes you just have to stop listening to others and just do for yourself. This is my favorite:

Will You Pick Strangers or Friends?

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canyon course, creative writing, daily prompts, encouragement, fear, friends, inspiration, musings, north carolina, Post Idea, postaday, public speaking, sky bridge, strangers, support, u.s. national whitewater center, work, writing prompts, zipline

When you do something scary or stressful — bungee jumping, public speaking, etc. — do you prefer to be surrounded by friends or by strangers?

A few years ago, I completed the canyon course at the U.S. National Whitewater Center in North Carolina. The challenge was to work from tree platform to tree platform over a ridge gorge on a circuit of sky bridges. These bridges were constructed not of steel or wood, but rather one or two ropes with a rope at the side or overhead to assist with balance.

I followed my friend and his son along the course. Both tore through across the rope walkways like nimble monkeys as if we were only a few inches above the ground, instead of 50 feet. It was a hard course for me. I took it at a snail’s pace. I’m sure the eight-year-old behind me learned a great deal about patience that afternoon.

I’ve always been athletic but never attempted anything quite like that before. Perched on one rope with maybe another at waist-height to help with balance, I expected to lose my balance. I was less concerned with falling and more concerned about not being able to get back up on that little rope/cable to continue the course. I’m no acrobat and couldn’t fathom how once I fell, I’d be able to swing myself upright like some Olympic gymnast on the horizontal high bar. The good news is I didn’t fall off the rope until the very last section when I was merely feet from the final platform. I think my sense of balance (or dignity) just finally let go and said, “take the fall!” The guide hooked my safety line and my friend pulled me in.

Victory! With the course and all fear behind me, I sailed back to home base across a 250-foot zip line. I was invigorated as the wind whizzed through my helmet and I enjoyed the scenery of the canyon. Throughout the entire canyon crossing, my friend waited at each platform to help me hook onto the next section and encourage me forward. Having positive reinforcement from a friend was the best way to face a fear.

Just yesterday, another friend mentioned when she was 18 she was called upon to speak about her father in front of a large group of people. Public speaking frightened her and she didn’t think she’d be able to honor her father properly. However, there in the back of the crowd was a smiling face. My friend focused on that person as she crafted stories and anecdotes. Before she knew it, her speech was concluded, the audience was applauding and her father was thanking her for the stories. Decades later, my friend still remembers how that one person’s encouragement gave her the courage to speak.

There’s nothing like a familiar face providing encouragement and giving an extra boost when needed. It can be in a work meeting, at a social event or when pushing your endurance to the limit. I think it’s best to surround yourself with positive reinforcements and someone who’s going to encourage you to succeed. Don’t you?