Twelve Days of Christmas Gone Wrong

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12 days of Christmas, blackmailer, carnivore, Christmas, creative writing, donation, Eden, public relations, Secret Santa, spin, vegetarianism

An anonymous friend had been leaving me gifts at work to celebrate each of the 12 days of Christmas. All was fine and good for the first 11 gifts, which were thoughtful or fun, but the 12th gift wasn’t actually a gift at all. Inside the festively wrapped box was a photograph of someone I loved doing something they shouldn’t be doing and an extortion note demanding $10,000 in cash or that photo would go live on the Internet.

I stared at the note, my hands shaking and heartbeat racing. I quickly flipped the photo over, in case anyone came up behind my cubicle. It was shameful. I couldn’t let anyone see it. It might ruin us. I peeked at it again. Brian’s face was fully exposed to the camera, a silly smile plastered across his face. The action he was involved in was such a complete betrayal. How could he do this?

Summoning great calm, I filled my coffee and trolled around the office, peering over my co-workers’ cubicle walls, asking questions and pretending to be interested in projects and Christmas plans. Back at my desk, I felt defeated. I couldn’t figure out who was—as I was now calling him or her—my “Secret Santa from Hell.”

I slipped the photo into a plain manila envelope, grabbed my cell phone and made my way to the back entrance. It was too early for anyone to take a smoke break, so I had a privacy as I snapped an image with my phone and texted it to Brian. His ringtone shrilled within a few seconds.

He didn’t say anything beyond “Hey.” His guilt would be overwhelming but it was about to get worse. I told him about the blackmail.

The air escaped him like a deflated balloon. “That’s it. We’re ruined.” I could picture him sitting in the kitchen, wearing jeans, a t-shirt and Crocs, his hair hidden underneath a do-rag. He was awaiting the morning delivery.

“Maybe not.” I had worked in public relations for years, and even though Brian, who in a patronizing tone on several occasions called me a “Spinmeister” and said I could put a twist on anything, was about to see my talent pay off in spades. I quickly outlined a rough plan of action. I could hear him perk up as I went through the details. It might just work, and we’d avoid both blackmail and ruin.

Two days later, on the front page of the Food section in the morning newspaper was a large, color photo of Brian – the same photo from my final 12 days of Christmas gifts. It was a recent photo that showed him seated in a leather booth in a well-known Steakhouse with a half-eaten filet on his plate and a forkful of meat held mid-air. In the right context, it would appear the silly smile was actually mocking the carnivore.

Next to the photo was an article penned by the food editor herself, based off a news release I had put out the day before. I brought in extra copies of the morning newspaper. I posted the article and photo on the outside wall of my cubicle.

I never learned my Christmas blackmailer’s identity, but two months later, I received a promotion to vice president of public relations, specializing in crisis communications.

LOCAL VEGETARIAN CHEF ASKS, WHERE’S THE BEEF?

Sherri Dirasoli, Food Editor

I expect the diners at Eden, the area’s favorite vegetarian cuisine dining spot, will shout back, “Not here!” when asked if they want meat on the menu. Eden is known for coaxing plenty of flavors from its ingredients to create luscious vegetarian cuisine. Chef Brian Teller is now challenging customers to show their true support of vegetarianism for a good cause.

Teller, owner and chef extraordinaire at Eden, announced he’s hosting a fundraiser for Green Leaf Co-Op. But it’s a fundraiser with a twist.

He has created two menus—one vegetarian and one carnivore—and it’s up to diners to choose if meat will make its way through Eden’s kitchen and onto the plate.

“We want the community to come out and show their support for Green Leaf Co-Op. They can do this by donating for either menu, but we’re expecting NOT to cook a carnivore menu,” said Teller with a twinkle in his eye.

This fundraiser is one we’ve never seen in this town, and it’s for a good cause. The Green Leaf Co-Op is a non-profit organization that works with local high school students to promote organic farming. All proceeds will benefit the new community garden planned for the city’s Garden District near Sixth and Norwich.

Meat lovers can make their opinion known too. Donors can vote for either menu option with a monetary donation at the restaurant or online through the restaurant’s web site. Whichever menu gleans the highest dollars by January 20 will be served at a special dinner in February. The eight highest donors and a guest will be treated to a private dining experience.

Our chef’s hat off to Brian Teller. This kind of innovative thinking is what keeps our interest in the culinary field high while benefitting the community. Oh, and for the record, I’m donating for the vegetarian menu!

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Bah Humbug – Who Has Time To Be Nice?

Tags

Alverno College, Charles Dickens, Cherokee, Connie Popp, Ebenezer Scrooge, happiness, holidays, Mayo Clinic, meditation, musings, stress, stress management, two wolves, writing

dannymiller.typepad.com

A Christmas Carol is the ultimate tale of holiday stress. Charles Dickens created a character who was emotionally and physically wracked by all-consuming horrible nightmares, the threat of poverty, the fear of no tomorrow and no time left to repent for abominable past deeds. Ebenezer Scrooge is a man desperately in need of the Mayo Clinic’s healthy living and stress management program.

What Dickens understood was that every day we have the choice to be happy or miserable, and within each day we have many opportunities to choose. Maybe it’s allowing the jerk of a driver who has been riding the shoulder for at least a quarter-mile to finally merge and squeeze in front of you on the freeway or to say thank you to the person who held the door open while you hurried in from the wind. If you grumble at the inept driver for the next three miles and take that negative energy home with you, how will it affect you or your family that night? Or if you say thank you at the door will you in turn do something nice?

Connie Popp, Alverno College

Connie Popp is the campus minister at Alverno College and she believes we warm ourselves by doing positive things. Connie recommends each of us take a few moments to find the techniques and strategies that focus on gratitude. Not everyone has time for an hour-long meditation. Instead, it may be repeating a positive affirmation each day. Or something as simple as taking the time to breathe deeply to calm yourself and come aware with a clear head. There isn’t one process for everyone, and it may take time to find your own.

A friend of mine is amazing K4 teacher who has a mixed classroom of mainstream and Head Start program children. Despite the incredible challenges she manages with students, their families and the social service system, she maintains a positive and healthy attitude. So much so, in fact, that the administration at one school asked her to continue to say good morning and hello in the hallways with the hope it would rub off on the other educators. During a faculty meeting, the other teachers complained they could not possibly attempt cordiality. One said, “If I haven’t had my coffee yet, don’t expect me to say good morning.” Another said, “I have too much to do to say hello in the hallways.” My friend stood up and admonished the group. “Do you hear yourselves?” she asked. “You’re making excuses not to be friendly. You’re wasting so much time planning your negativity. All you need to do is say hello and you can keep walking.” Some of the other instructors gaped at her, while others hung their heads. They had not realized the negative atmosphere they had been creating. After that meeting, there was a shift at that school.

It is all too easy to wrap ourselves inside our heads and wallow, but none of us stands alone. At work, we are part of a team, a company, a corporation. At home, we are part of a couple, a family, a neighborhood and a community. It is up to each of us as to manage our stress and turn it into something happy as it will surely affect those around us. During the holiday season, as you rush from store to store or participate in 25 cookie exchanges or worry about finding the perfect present for Grandma, take a moment to enjoy. Then take two moments, and then 10 and then maybe an entire afternoon. As Ebenezer Scrooge learned, time is short. If you can remove regrets, anger, bitterness and fear, a happy life is much easier to live.

Thank you to Connie for sharing this next story:

There is a Cherokee Legend where an old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he says.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Well, which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

api.ning.com

Procrastination. It Will Get You Nowhere.

Tags

academia, applause, Bill Watterson, business, checklists, college, fiscal, holidays, procrastination, technical, technical writing, to-do, wimpy

Despite all the marketing hype bombarding us on the radio, TV and in department stores, the Holidays may indeed not be the most magical or wonderful time of year. In business, it’s usually the end of the fiscal or calendar year, or at least the quarter close. Did you want to use up those extra PTO and sick days for an extended break? Wait! First, there are things to do:

• Close the books for end of year
• Meet or come in under final budgets
• Complete all projects, quotes, goals, etc.
• Tie up the hundred loose ends
• And then there’s the overhanging reminder it starts all over again on January 1.

During the festivity of the season, sometimes it’s all the more difficult to complete your tasks when the cube farm next to you is celebrating the “12 Days of Christmas” every afternoon at 3pm. How is it possible they can celebrate with candy cane punch and chocolate macaroons when there’s so much work to do? Sometimes, despite all the best pre-planning and colorful GANTT charts created, projects aren’t finished until the last minute. Some people say they do their best work at the 11^th hour.

“You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that?  Last-minute panic.” ― Bill Watterson (cartoonist of Calvin and Hobbes)

Procrastination. Either you’re in the middle of it or you’ve avoided it.

Deadlines will always loom large. I’m guilty of procrastination. If I have 20 papers to assess and they’re not due until Monday, I may wait until Sunday night. Even though I know Sunday night I just want to relax and not think about work. A student told me she was struggling to get her work in on time. She said she kept putting off her assignments, but then she would lie awake at night thinking about how she just should have gotten the work done the day before. She ended up frantically writing a last-minute draft just to have something to submit and then worried it wasn’t going to be good enough to meet criteria.

Whether in academia or in the workplace, procrastination and worrying go hand-in-hand. As soon as you feel those warning signs creeping in, combat them. Start or stick to your task checklists. Keep only high-priority work on your desk or within reach. Limit e-mail or social media check-ins. (Don’t even go near Candy Crush.) Allocate the right amount of time for a project. And don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments. Few of us are rock stars and no one applauds when we turn off the lights in our office each night.

Plan ahead with your projects and stick to your timetable. Remember to congratulate yourself on a job completed and done well. I’ve added this as my system shutdown audio file. I think you should, too. You deserve it.

Applause sound file link

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